A New Decade and A New Choice

God is able to accomplish, provide, help, save, keep, subdue. 

He is able to do what you can't. 

He already has a plan. God's not bewildered. Go to Him.  

Max Lucado

It's 2020! Do you recall looking ahead as a child and thinking about what your life would look like at 2020? What plans did you have for yourself? Where would you be living and who would you be living with? The list goes on of how we coulda, woulda, shoulda landed where we are today. BUT, along came something you didn't plan on.  

What rocks your world?  I'm not sure, but I think once you've been down the avenue of life's rocky adventures, your world doesn't rock so easily any longer.  The news you get today is always compared to the awareness and knowledge of your loved one living a risky life with substances or other earth shattering moments.  Perhaps you've received the news that someone you love is in a debilitating situation with their health and you can't see beyond today or believe that there is a chance for healing or a longer life.  Maybe you were just notified of a crime that occurred and your loved one was right in the middle of it.  Or, the phone rang and it was your own doctor with news you never imagined would be yours.  When we are younger and look ahead we surely don't plan for these types of scenarios.  And why would we? We'd be living like Eeyore if our horizon was heavy laden all the time with impending storm clouds.  

Nothing teaches us more about life than living.  Each day has troubles of it's own, the Bible says, so don't go looking ahead for more to add to your burden.  

How do I do that, you wonder?  Each day remains the same it seems, as if you were stuck in a scene from the Groundhog Day Movie.  They leave the house, looking to score, and you cry. Wandering the house alone you find yourself creeping into the bedrooms looking for something, anything, to sort out your thoughts and squelch the impending truths that are lying in your path of cloudy vision.  You realize that you see things you don't understand. and you shake your head in bewilderment as if that will help you clear out the chaos in your thinking.  But you're so frozen in fear, you don't ask anyone about it because you can't accept what's right in front of your nose.  You haven't found a place to land with ears to listen because you're so ashamed about what you think is happening you simply find it impossible to utter a word.  You've convinced yourself you're all alone. And the vision plays out the same each day, month, year and decade.  Suddenly you're in 2020 and it looks the same as 2015, 2010 and as far back as you can remember. 

And you silently scream, how can I believe this statement about God?  He's so far removed from my situation, you believe, that He's no help to me.  But, eventually you find that you are thinking and talking to God more each day because you have no one else to talk to and nowhere else to go. Is He speaking to me? Is my situation really going to change as He says? 

If anything is true, it's the truth that we have choices.  And, if we choose to put ourselves into God's hand and change our thinking, OUR situation will change because WE will change.  It may not stop the addict from scoring or the drunk from another binge, but we might find our responses to the swill around us can be shifted.  Instead of jumping into the pigpen and trying to wrestle with swine, convincing them of another way, we walk on a new path in order to make choices that are good for US. Slowly we learn to side step the puddles lying on our paths. 

We begin to gain the peace that God promises, that the world won't understand.  How can we have peace in the midst of such chaos? Because we are learning to trust God at His Word that what He says is true.  And this trust isn't because of any magic, cosmic energy, aura or karma.  God doesn't subscribe to that thinking.  The Prince of Peace is above all man-made concoctions of the pathway to peace that doesn't include Him, simply because He IS peace. 

So, as we turn the calendar over to a new day, new week, new year and new decade, we also decide to turn our lives and wills over to the care of God.  Step Three in a nutshell says: "I can't.  God can.  I think I'll let Him."

Happy New Day! 

Christmas Peace

It took me completely by surprise at our Christmas family gathering. My sister-in-love has a pretty purple tree covered with lots of beautiful little ornamental fairies, butterflies and other mini-sized trinkets. Earlier I had noticed a few small picture frame ornaments with photos of SIL's mom and dad who have passed away. Later in the day, I sort of heard my sister speaking to me as I was looking all around the tree again, sort of lost in my own world.  Suddenly her voice came into my listening space and she said  "that must have been at A & K's wedding. Doesn't she look great?"   My gaze zeroed in on what my sister was referring too, and I realized it was a picture of our mom smiling beautifully wearing a lovely red dress. My breath was taken away and I kept saying to my sister, "wait, is that our mom?? That's mom!?!"  Then I dissolved into a quiet sob.  In a low voice I said to my sister that I've been missing Mom so much this past year.  And since that moment on Saturday, I've been in a very melancholy mood and weepy every time I think of Mom. And you know what?  It's okay and it's not taking anything away from this Christmas holiday. 

I'm so thankful that I didn't grow up in an environment that focused on dates, memories or situations that came along with pain and hence forth believed that forever after that date was ruined or tarnished.  I believe that's probably what let me spend many a holiday without my sons when they were younger, without Cliff when he was in his addiction, or without the presence of any of those I loved. 

I was reading a post today written by Alissa Parker. The Parker's are one of the families that lost their beautiful first grader in last year's Sandy Hook tragedy.  How they've handled their pain and grief is enlightening and healthy.  As codependents or enablers, we've often stuffed our feelings in an effort to get everyone onto the same page or we've given our best effort to make everything appear as if nothing's missing or wrong.  How refreshing it is to be able to shed a few tears for a few minutes and then move on. And sometimes they are shed again and then you move on again.  It's not a lock down of grief but a process of moving through hurt or pain.  It's living life that is filled with all kinds of emotions and events and we need to give ourselves the gift of balance.  Mourning and dancing truly can be done in the same memory!! 

Don't cling to your hurts.  Embrace the joy and face the grief head on.  It's not a battle you're in. These are allowable feelings and healing is sure to follow.  No one or nothing can ruin your holiday unless you give them permission to do so.  My sons addiction had nothing to do with the birth of God's only son, Jesus. Shed a tear if necessary and then look for the Light of Life as you take the next right step. Practice the Steps you've learned.  May the truth of Christmas be welcomed into your thinking as you take care of yourself in the days ahead. 

Peace. 

Miss T and Me

Yesterday was packed full from beginning to end. In my place of worship and fellowship we believe in serving others in our community and also in some of the larger communities nearby.  Naturally, the larger communities are the places that people often don't want to venture to, due to unfamiliarity, notable skin color differences, and fear of crime. And naturally, we like to stay with what's familiar. Why, even in the animal kingdom more often than not, animals seek to be with and stay within their own safety zones and generally the only thing that drives them way out of their own dwelling space is hunger. Hunger drives us. It can't and won't be ignored.

The culture of Facebook is an entity of it's own and you hear of folks who either scoff at it or live and breathe by it.  I like Facebook for a selfish reason ~ 8 siblings.  Some live near and some live far and we've opted to use Facebook as our point of contact.  It seems rather pitiful that this is our mode of operation and yet, when we need to share a concern or celebrate good news, it seems like the best place to make sure we pass the word. A few years ago to my surprise, which has turned into my delight, I came across a childhood friend on Facebook via another friend's account. I saw her name and thought to myself, "that can't be the Karen I know, can it?" so I clicked on her name to see what I could see.

I've mentioned before that Detroit had such a white flight out in the late 60's/early 70's that our secure foundation of family and friends was shaken to its core. Imagine if you will, standing in the midst of a great gathering one minute, but by the time you turned 360 degrees nothing seemed or looked the same. Ninety percent of those familiar faces were gone. We were scattered in all directions and  those who you weren't tightly connected with seemed to have vanished into thin air. So now, nearly 40 years later, when I clicked on her name I read about  a life I didn't know at all.  Her story was so familiar to me now after dealing with an addict in my family and yet it just didn't match the girl I knew from my past. Reading along though, I quickly realized we had a real connection beyond anything I'd known about her before.Suddenly we could talk about recovery and the saving grace of Jesus and truly connect as if not a day without contact had passed between us.

Karen Robak Gates is a biker chick that spent many a year in the streets and on the stuff. She lived in the warmer states for many years doing her thing until one day she called out to her Higher Power and got a clean body and a redeemed soul, too. Forever thankful for what God is doing in her life, she eventually found her way back to Michigan and began a foundation to serve the forgotten, thrown away people in the city we grew up loving, Detroit.  So as I poured over Karen's story and pictures with faces that were so real, my heart was tugged upon to come along side and see what I could do.  A team was formed from my church and we have been going once a month to serve on the sidewalk in front of the decrepit, desolate and deserted train station in Detroit. Where once a grand matriarch stood so proudly, now a forgotten old relative is abandoned and left to die alone. Yet weekly The Ark Association stands on the sidewalks along side her, feeding the hungry and homeless a hot meal right on the sidewalks. There's no shelter from the cold, rain, snow or blistering heat. Shadowy figures come from nowhere like clockwork knowing that someone will be there without fail. It may be the only guarantee they have in life right now that doesn't quit. And although  The Ark Association is not a religious foundation their work is rather Biblical as we give food to the hungry and clothing to the naked, whether friend or foe.

Once a month our team assists their weekly outreach in bringing food and clothing to others who are hungry or need something to wear.  It was there a few weeks ago I met " Miss T".  A woman maybe near 40 whose story involves a history of an abusive husband who is now deceased from cancer, a pit of depression and drug usage and children with children who share her home, which she just received through assistance. Miss T also proudly tells me she is now in college and studying for her finals! But as I heard her story, I realized she has an apartment but not much else. Driving home that day I shared this information with my team and before the weekend was done an array of items were put together for her. A bed with bedding, a couch and tables, a few dishes and a little holiday jar of candy. along with a small artificial Christmas tree. A little basket of items for her three year old granddaughter was gathered as well. Yesterday we delivered these items and met her sons.  We were busy for less than an hour and later on Miss T left me a message stating that she was humbled and blessed to receive these items. We've helped her for a moment, but have been impacted for a lifetime.

The Scriptures never direct us to find out how people got into this situation, although if a friendship is cultivated that may come up.  It just directs us to share what we have. Maybe we weren't directed to ask because that would put us in a judging frame of mind and that's a place where I surely don't belong.

Ministry and service work go hand in hand. One meets the physical need and one meets the spiritual need and I'd say the giver gains more from the exchange than the receiver any day.  


God bless you and keep you, Miss T.