Auld Lang Syne

As another speeding year comes to an end I sigh with relief that it's done. I don't like how quickly they go, yet I love looking forward to the possibility of a year filled with new hope and promise of something better.

Like most, it's been a year of huge struggle, waiting with bated breath to find out exactly how the economy would hit us and where. Being in the state with the worst economic numbers it's been difficult and depressing at times. Yet, the company I work for has been blessed with a turn around that came as a wonderful surprise due to the unfortunate demise of another very large company. I can hardly believe that less than four months ago I watched my boss closely each Friday to find out if there would be a job waiting for me the following Monday. Now work awaits me each morning when I arrive!

And, maybe like you, our family has said good-bye to some beloved family members whose time has come and we are sort of bracing for the next adieu as our large family is aging gracefully. Many tears of joy and tears of sorrow have been shed this year believing that this is a necessary part of life, growth and change.

How timely that at my meeting the other night the topic was "relapse" as we looked hard at Step Eleven.

"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out."

I wonder when I'll get life right. Sometimes I long for something that I can't have nor can I do anything about. Recently, I caught myself spinning my wheels and grieving almost as much as I did when I had to chase an addict yet this had nothing whatsoever to do with Cliff! I realized that I'm still digging out of old patterns and behaviors and that sometimes it still hurts. Evidently I still like to wear my rose-colored glasses and flip through the Norman Rockwell Family album certain that I'll find my clan there. Finally, I got my feelings back in check and was able to get a healthy grip on myself and my parameters of living. And so the saying that recovery is a process, not perfection, gets applied to my soul like a good sun screen. It's only helpful when I remember to use it.

So Auld Lang Syne, my friends: "We'll drink a cup of kindness yet for times gone by."

I'll have mine with marshmallows and sprinkles, while wearing my rosey glasses and tap shoes, thank you very much!

Somethings may never change! ;)

I Surrender This.....

Like a bolt out of the blue, the phone rings with news we'd rather not get. A newer member at our home group called to say that her son, who's overseas at college, has been using and became addicted to heroin. Quickly, plans have been made to get him home as he's asked to go into rehab. Pretty Mom was rather composed, oh woman of faith that she is. She and her husband have a "solid as a rock" relationship and fortunately have always been totally there for each other. Praying together through the years your married does things like this.

Suddenly, their Christmas celebration will have a different light on it. But it's the light that shines brightly. It's the time of year when we celebrate Jesus sent as a baby for one such as this. For all of us he was sent, but somehow His purpose sometimes seems presented as if it's for those of us who are just little sinners. You know, a little lie here or a bad attitude there and that the "real sinners" should rot in hell. Why should they be forgiven for anything? Others view it as God came for the Big Sinners but us minor players can take care of ourselves. He's to busy for us and afterall, my little sins aren't any big deal, are they? But God's word says He came for all of us and that He himself shows no partiality for one over the other. Sin is sin in the eyes of God and He will not accept any of it.

Because He's God and I'm not, determines that He will forgive and accept to Himself addicts and all their coniving and manipulating ways along with mothers of addicts who can be controlling or manipulative too. He forgives those who think hateful or sinful things but don't act on them. Our secret sins He knows but will forgive. Thoughts of adultery, lusting, hatred, jealousy can all be forgiven. Because He's God and I'm not, He will forgive murderers and rapists and white collar thieves. He will also forgive us when we keep extra change given by accident or the daily swindling that goes on between buyers and sellers and the swindling isn't always done by the sellers! He will forgive school children who are bullies, and teachers who use children for their sexually depraved thinking or addictions. Because He's God and I'm not He knows best the heart of a man who asks for forgiveness for all his sins whatever they may be. And forgives me when I don't understand how He can forgive a murderer or child-molester.

And because He knows the heart of man, he knows who is truly seeking forgiveness and who's giving lip service. But that's not up to me either.

Andrew will return home and enter rehab and his parents will have a great Christmas gift in the simple fact that they know Andrew is alive and being cared for medically instead of detoxing alone in a room about 5000 miles away, or lying in a street, under an overpass or in a homeless shelter guarding his shoes with his life.

The Light of Life is holding out His hand to Andrew and anyone else that is willing to accept that we are powerless over our lives and that their is a Power greater than ourselves who can restore us to sanity and a relationship with Him that beats all the rest. We can wake up each day and thank God for a new day to live healthy and free from alcohol, drugs, or any other ball and chain that wants to rob us from the life He intended for us to live. We can trust Him for just one day, this present day, because He will take care of tomorrow when it gets here. We can lay our heads down on our pillow at night thanking God again for walking with us through the day we just had, joyous and free or lousy and encumbering.

A free gift for anyone who will accept.

*All Pics Googled*

Sought Through Prayer and Meditation....

Prayer and meditation is a minute by minute thing for me. Yes, there are times I sit down and exclude all other sounds, sights, and noise for a more intimate reading and setting. But there are days where my every thought and word is to God and God alone. While I'm driving in the car, He hears my prayer and thoughts toward Him. Sometimes they're full of thankfulness and praise. Sometimes they're loaded with anguish and asking for His peace to help me remain steadfastly in His love.

Steadfast in my faith is something I am always working on. When life is overwhelming for me, I often turn to sugar in a most unhealthy consumption. In the past it would be staying in a relationship that was so unhealthy for me but it seemed better than nothing. All I know is I've been in a chaotic lifestyle with many detrimental responses for the majority of my adult life. Only when I seek God through prayer and meditation and improving my conscious contact with God will I learn His will for my life and be able to grasp the power He gives to carry it out.

Steadfast. Firm. Resolute. Unfaltering. Unshakable. Unwavering. Unswerving.



May it be with me and with you.