2012, We Bid Adieu!

As the end of another year draws to a close what are your thoughts?  Are you thinking "good riddance" or "wow, what a great year this was and I can't wait to see what 2013 will bring!" ?  For a long time option  number one was my choice and turning the page of another calendar year meant nothing to me. Nothing was going to change, I thought.  I was sooooo wrong!

Change your thoughts, change your life is a great and popular motto to live by today.  With recovery I would add, "change your thoughts, change your actions, change your life."  I have to add that middle step because you and I both know how we can live out our thoughts in our mind but still do nothing about it. Faith and recovery has allowed me to garner up the courage and strength to take my productive thoughts, put them into steps and receive a positive result of a changed life. That is followed by a changed heart.  Lighter, freer and more joyful.

So, what about you?  I quit doing resolutions long ago because as you know most resolutions aren't kept.  However, I am choosing to make some life changes even today going into the new year.  I attend church just about every week and am in touch with my faith family regularly.  Those you surround yourself with have the greatest impact on your life.  Yesterday the pastor was talking about a couple of things, but one of the things he referred to was how important it is to have remembrances of the changes and blessings that have come into your life through each year. You know there were events or situations that have come along and you felt overwhelmed or lost and wondered how you were going to get through it.   Time ticks by and soon it's weeks or months down the road and you find that you've survived or overcome that thing that tried to trip you up.  But oh, how easy it is to have these memories walk away quietly. Oh, you might never forget the major blessings and good fortunes that came your way, but what about the smaller players?  I was with my little family yesterday, all of us together, in the most healthy get together in years.  My heart was at peace and full of joy when "I lay my head down now to sleep."  I can now recall that my life hasn't always been full of sad addiction stories or sagas of enabling mishaps that ruled or dictated my life. No,  in fact I must call to mind all the ways that the Lord has walked me through the most tumultuous days of my life and has even blessed me through it. I want to remember how he placed people I had never met, into my path for the purpose of finding my way back to a healthy life no longer held hostage by addiction and step into the promises He has beckoned me too. 

So going into the new year, my cousin Leslie Hamp, posted a great suggestion that backs up yesterday's message about filling your new year with joy.   Here's the link to a great suggestion and I'm off to find myself a LARGE empty jar! I know at the end of  2013 I'm going to love to review all my love and joy notes!

Happy New Year! Expect something big!   

Auld Lang Syne

As another speeding year comes to an end I sigh with relief that it's done. I don't like how quickly they go, yet I love looking forward to the possibility of a year filled with new hope and promise of something better.

Like most, it's been a year of huge struggle, waiting with bated breath to find out exactly how the economy would hit us and where. Being in the state with the worst economic numbers it's been difficult and depressing at times. Yet, the company I work for has been blessed with a turn around that came as a wonderful surprise due to the unfortunate demise of another very large company. I can hardly believe that less than four months ago I watched my boss closely each Friday to find out if there would be a job waiting for me the following Monday. Now work awaits me each morning when I arrive!

And, maybe like you, our family has said good-bye to some beloved family members whose time has come and we are sort of bracing for the next adieu as our large family is aging gracefully. Many tears of joy and tears of sorrow have been shed this year believing that this is a necessary part of life, growth and change.

How timely that at my meeting the other night the topic was "relapse" as we looked hard at Step Eleven.

"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out."

I wonder when I'll get life right. Sometimes I long for something that I can't have nor can I do anything about. Recently, I caught myself spinning my wheels and grieving almost as much as I did when I had to chase an addict yet this had nothing whatsoever to do with Cliff! I realized that I'm still digging out of old patterns and behaviors and that sometimes it still hurts. Evidently I still like to wear my rose-colored glasses and flip through the Norman Rockwell Family album certain that I'll find my clan there. Finally, I got my feelings back in check and was able to get a healthy grip on myself and my parameters of living. And so the saying that recovery is a process, not perfection, gets applied to my soul like a good sun screen. It's only helpful when I remember to use it.

So Auld Lang Syne, my friends: "We'll drink a cup of kindness yet for times gone by."

I'll have mine with marshmallows and sprinkles, while wearing my rosey glasses and tap shoes, thank you very much!

Somethings may never change! ;)