Extra Grace Required?

 

Recently, co-facilitating a women's bible study group I encountered someone that I was just unsure of from the get-go. This woman seemed to be just a little bit different and that was clear from the start. She seemed more critical, more determined to be heard and not so easy to embrace. Our study was scheduled for only six weeks, so I thought to myself that I can handle anything for a brief six weeks.

Brief it was! Over the six weeks the dynamics and the number of this group changed like the tides of the ocean which ebb and flow. Our room location changed after a few weeks. We lost some women due to conflicting fall activities with their children. We moved the tables around to make things a little more cohesive in this group.

Each week our EGR*  woman returned and each week she required less and less grace. Is that possible? Each week I, and others, prayed for this group and I prayed for my part in it. Each week my grip on this group was less and my expectations and ideals were changed; our walls went down a few bricks at a time and our care and love increased. I knew what was happening now and what would happen through the weeks to come was God's work. I was just here to share His smile, His touch and love as it was shared back to me.

We all meet EGR people. Maybe the connection is parent to child, husband to wife or sister to brother. Maybe we have to work side by side with an EGR person day after day. Maybe, at times, I'M the EGR person unbeknownst to me!

All I know is through life we may need or be the person that requires extra grace. If I want God to extend His grace to me, I must give grace to others. I'm learning to accept the things (or people) that I cannot change (and I can't nor is it my job to change anyone) and the WISDOM to know the difference.

Our EGR person became more beautiful as the weeks went by. Her smile was brighter, her words less edgy and her wall was gone. Hopefully, I reflected the very same results back to her.

*EGR and Extra Grace Required belong to Leadership Expert John Maxwell*

Pic by Laura McAlpine

Addicted Me

The older I get the more I realize that I have an addictive personality of  my own. A few years back Cliff and I were driving home from the store when he spied a bag in the backseat holding a new box of  Little Debbie's Swiss Cake Roll Ups. "Mom,"  he said, "why are you buying those? They can't be good for your sugar."  Usually quite defensive of anyone pointing out my food choices, I reluctantly replied that they just called out to me.  He paused and said without judgment, "I know what you mean. Heroin used to call out to me, too."  Ugh.

When I was in high school, heroin was the rich man's drug but pot and other substances could be found everywhere, including my high school vestibule.  But I was afraid of drugs in any form.  In 1972 I knew of several people who died from drug usage and that was enough for me. Though pot didn't claim those statistics, I was afraid of anything that would alter my  mind and self-control.  I'm so thankful that even without knowing it or knowing God that well, that He gave me a strong sense of 'no' in that particular arena.  He was protecting me and for once I didn't throw all caution to the wind and jump the line. 

Why then, am I now facing my own refusal to acknowledge my need for removal of other forms of substance abuse?  Sugar is my "thang".  I clearly remember being at my cousin Leslie Hamp's 5th birthday party and parking myself right at the corner of the picnic table where a bowl of  M&M's sat unsupervised, calling out to me. All the other party attenders were off playing some games and I wanted no part of that. I was in my own little chocolate heaven until my aunt shooed me away. Ugh. 

Still being a sugar person you'd think by 57-3/4 years old I would have won this battle. Not so. And even with all the issues of diabetes I have, it would make sense to everyone around me to just simply walk away. It isn't that simple as many of you can relate with life hazards of your own that you've yet to kick.  This process always reminds me of the Scripture verse in the book of Romans when Paul says "Why do I do the things I hate?"  Ugh. 

I'm reminded that my life didn't exist simply to raise Son #1 and Cliff. Somehow I saw myself as being their life director and trying to intervene where only God could reach them. In so doing, I continued for many years to ignore God when He was trying to reach me and was beckoning me to look Him square in the face, so to speak, and hear what He has for me.  Love, acceptance, intimacy, goodness, blessing, peace, order, freedom, and unsurpassed joy.  All these things await me as I continue to step fully into the life He has planned for me, which includes well-being and good health. 

As I continue to relinquish my ways and my unneeded help for those I love, it frees me up to connect with myself in a healthy way. Today, I will choose to take care of me, my health and my home all in the freedom of surrendering to His magnificent way.  From despair to hope, I've been set free. At times I feel like I'm just starting again down this path and that's the beauty of 12 Steps and a loving God.  He is always holding out His righteous right hand to start anew and you can practice the 12 Steps over and over and over again. 

Peace. 

Picture from google

Walking the Walk

Today's Thoughts from Hazelden delivered this on my birthday.

When we have given our lives back to our Higher Power, we gradually learn to accept what happens to us as part of the plan. Most of us made a mess of trying to run our own lives. We are amazed at how much better things go when we acknowledge that the Power greater than ourselves is in control.

Every experience, the bad one as well as the good one, becomes an opportunity to learn and to serve. We may not like what it is that we are given to do or to feel on a particular day, but we learn to accept it as necessary for our growth. We can look back and see that we have learned even more from our failures than from our successes.

When we accept our lives and ourselves as part of God's creation, we are open to the work of God's spirit and love. Then positive change and growth become possible.

Teach me to accept Your will.
Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

I have nothing to add. It's perfect for me just the way it is.

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