Letting Go

Life is full of choosing.  Do I stay or do I go? Do I love or do I walk away? Do I eat this or choose that?  We are constantly being challenged in our own thoughts to choose wisely or indulge. Sometimes you can do both, but those moments are rare, indeed. 

Letting Go is a topic that follows us everywhere.  In the last few years the song from Disney's Frozen "Let It Go" has been used in a variety of commercials, background music and children's birthday parties.  The lyrics have been sung by people of all sizes and ages in a quest to answer their own dilemma at hand. 

This past week at my meeting, we were discussing the topic to Let Go. One by one, male and female, shared the struggles and scenarios that are so familiar to families in drug crises and varying expressions of nodding, grimacing and sometimes tears were displayed unashamedly. One parent is in such raw pain and so new to this place of healing but not yet understanding how in the world she will ever be able to let go and step away from the child she loves who is active in addiction, she cannot fathom letting go. "But, I'm her mother" and "What if she needs me" were sobbingly stated. "I don't know how, I don't know how. I can't do it - I just can't let go".  

Identifying with her pain, I silently whispered a quick prayer for God's Spirit to comfort her and strengthen her resolve. I didn't want her to be in that place that we all have to walk through.  Being the great enabler that I am, I so wanted to ease her pain and take it from her, but knew that there is simply nothing any of us can do, but stand with her, be available for a phone call or just find the time to sit by her side if she asked. 

As each person shared from their own perspective,  some things were said in the direction of the crying mom in hopes of her realizing that we too, have walked her walk and felt her pain. That only time, and sometimes distance, really is what needs to be given in order to begin to heal. 

Finally, one of the true veterans of this meeting said something very helpful about Letting Go. "People are often saying let it go, let go, or you should be letting go. What they are leaving out is the rest of the phrase which is to Let God.  If you are carrying something precious to you, such as a beautiful glass dish, or a valued picture frame holding the photo of someone you cherish and you need to suddenly let it go, what do you do?  You don't just drop it and let it fall to the floor  and break in a million shattered pieces. You place it in another pair of hands or into a cabinet, on a table or in a drawer where it's safe.  When someone you love is in addiction and it's time to Let Go, you need to actively Let God.  Place the one you love in God's capable hands where you know they are safe if they so choose. You have placed them lovingly into the hands of the only One who can change them and make a difference in their life. Oh, you'll attempt to take them back, but keep placing your darling into the hand of God and you will begin to find rest for your self."  

Her message is a great reminder to all of us of this simple practice. And it is a practice that needs to be repeated again and again as we navigate through our own maze of challenges; we have to practice keeping our eyes on our own path to peace and let others experience the same. 

May you find peace and love tonight in Letting God. Let Him in, let Him love, let Him heal, let Him lead you.  

It will only get better, this I know. 

The First Step

Well, how'd you do yesterday? It was a beautiful weather day here and my day was busy like most with blessings throughout. I went to church in the morning and am always so thankful to be in the house of the Lord but also to be among what I call my faith family. These are the people that walk along side me and encourage me to be the very best that God planned all along. They urge me on and lift me up when I stumble. And believe me, I stumble.

How so? 

When I stumble, I start my day without a thought of God, my Higher Power. I wake up and charge into the starting gate ready to rock the world. Or I hide deeper under the covers and I just don't want to start anything. Anything.  Over the years of recovery, which led me to a much deeper walk with my Savior, I've learned to allow myself the time to wake up and thank up first. Thank up? Yes, sending my thanks up to God who is giving me another breath of life and a new day to begin again. Do you know how much God has promised us in His Word? Do you know how often He offers us forgiveness, help and a hand up? 

Look at what He says here. 'Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.' (Isaiah 41:10) 

Who couldn't use this kind of help? I sure need Him to hold me up often! 

I stumble through the day when I don't respond to people correctly. Sometimes we say that's just the way we are but if you strive to be better than the day before, it requires looking at yourself and the way you interact with people. I came from a very large family and often the atmosphere was a survival of the fittest which could mean a lot of different things to different people. In our home it might have been the quickest wit, whether funny and lighthearted or sharp and painful, wins. It wasn't necessarily about which way it was delivered but you had to get it in first. This could create a myriad of heartache if you were a nano-second behind. If you came in second, you lost the moment. Strength in words can either build people up or tear people down. Now, everything ever said in our home was not negative and unkind. At all. Telling others to toughen up might not always be the answer although in our culture we could use a little bit of that thinking for sure. It surely is a fine line, isn't it? Truth in love should be spoken but truth in hurtful pokes and barbs is never correct. 

I also stumble through the day when I let electronics keep me from doing a task that requires my full attention. I've been decluttering for months. Months, I say!  Some days I respond to the task well at hand and other days it appears overwhelming. The reward in decluttering however can come in delightful surprises. I'm finding as I go through clothes that didn't fit me just right a year ago (but I didn't pass on) are now fitting me just right. Bonus! 

All this to say that starting my day with God is simply so much better than when I stumble into the day with a face plant. When I sit down with my Bible and recovery reading, without realizing it, I start out with a deep, relaxing sigh. I've noticed that every time. It puts me in a place of surrendering all that I was carrying to our meeting spot. When I start the day with saying 'Thank you for a new day' it sets my mind on God walking me through today instead of me running ahead and asking God to hurry up!

I hope you have found your place with God and people to support you through whatever obstacles face you today. His Word is a great place to find all that He has promised to those who believe. I can testify that it's true!!  Do you know that God says He has loved us with an everlasting love?? If we don't know that, we can't fill up with His strength and confidence. 

The First Step of Recovery which says: We admitted we were powerless over ____ (fill in your own struggle) and that our lives had become unmanageable. We are recognizing and saying that we have no defense over our situation, substance or people. What a great way to start the day. Acknowledge that you are powerless and ask your Higher Power, (God for me, the maker and creator of all things), to lead you in the way that you should go.  I don't need to stumble into the day at all! 

And don't forget, all the strength you need to get through the day is found in His Word. In case you don't own a Bible, you can go to Bible Gateway (https://www.biblegateway.com/) and find His love letter to you there! 

Check it out!  Need some suggestions? Send me a note! 

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