A New Decade and A New Choice

God is able to accomplish, provide, help, save, keep, subdue. 

He is able to do what you can't. 

He already has a plan. God's not bewildered. Go to Him.  

Max Lucado

It's 2020! Do you recall looking ahead as a child and thinking about what your life would look like at 2020? What plans did you have for yourself? Where would you be living and who would you be living with? The list goes on of how we coulda, woulda, shoulda landed where we are today. BUT, along came something you didn't plan on.  

What rocks your world?  I'm not sure, but I think once you've been down the avenue of life's rocky adventures, your world doesn't rock so easily any longer.  The news you get today is always compared to the awareness and knowledge of your loved one living a risky life with substances or other earth shattering moments.  Perhaps you've received the news that someone you love is in a debilitating situation with their health and you can't see beyond today or believe that there is a chance for healing or a longer life.  Maybe you were just notified of a crime that occurred and your loved one was right in the middle of it.  Or, the phone rang and it was your own doctor with news you never imagined would be yours.  When we are younger and look ahead we surely don't plan for these types of scenarios.  And why would we? We'd be living like Eeyore if our horizon was heavy laden all the time with impending storm clouds.  

Nothing teaches us more about life than living.  Each day has troubles of it's own, the Bible says, so don't go looking ahead for more to add to your burden.  

How do I do that, you wonder?  Each day remains the same it seems, as if you were stuck in a scene from the Groundhog Day Movie.  They leave the house, looking to score, and you cry. Wandering the house alone you find yourself creeping into the bedrooms looking for something, anything, to sort out your thoughts and squelch the impending truths that are lying in your path of cloudy vision.  You realize that you see things you don't understand. and you shake your head in bewilderment as if that will help you clear out the chaos in your thinking.  But you're so frozen in fear, you don't ask anyone about it because you can't accept what's right in front of your nose.  You haven't found a place to land with ears to listen because you're so ashamed about what you think is happening you simply find it impossible to utter a word.  You've convinced yourself you're all alone. And the vision plays out the same each day, month, year and decade.  Suddenly you're in 2020 and it looks the same as 2015, 2010 and as far back as you can remember. 

And you silently scream, how can I believe this statement about God?  He's so far removed from my situation, you believe, that He's no help to me.  But, eventually you find that you are thinking and talking to God more each day because you have no one else to talk to and nowhere else to go. Is He speaking to me? Is my situation really going to change as He says? 

If anything is true, it's the truth that we have choices.  And, if we choose to put ourselves into God's hand and change our thinking, OUR situation will change because WE will change.  It may not stop the addict from scoring or the drunk from another binge, but we might find our responses to the swill around us can be shifted.  Instead of jumping into the pigpen and trying to wrestle with swine, convincing them of another way, we walk on a new path in order to make choices that are good for US. Slowly we learn to side step the puddles lying on our paths. 

We begin to gain the peace that God promises, that the world won't understand.  How can we have peace in the midst of such chaos? Because we are learning to trust God at His Word that what He says is true.  And this trust isn't because of any magic, cosmic energy, aura or karma.  God doesn't subscribe to that thinking.  The Prince of Peace is above all man-made concoctions of the pathway to peace that doesn't include Him, simply because He IS peace. 

So, as we turn the calendar over to a new day, new week, new year and new decade, we also decide to turn our lives and wills over to the care of God.  Step Three in a nutshell says: "I can't.  God can.  I think I'll let Him."

Happy New Day! 

With My Own Eyes

Some years back I worked with a co-worker whose step-son "P" was troubling, to say the least. He was 18 years old, had a "maybe" baby (the family wasn't convinced 100% that he was the father) and had been kicked out of his home. P went to live with his grandmother and subsequently was kicked out of his grandmother's home, too. By all accounts he seemed to be rolling head first down the path of a life spent in and out of jail, or worse. He dropped out of school and was involved in some very questionable activity ending with a gunshot through his neck. His story of that action is unclear. Now, step-dad and mom found out he was in county jail, but they didn't know why. It didn't sound very positive for him, did it?

This hard-nosed step-dad "M" was struggling over whether or not to put a few dollars in the young man's commissary account.  Now, I don't know how it is where you are, but here in Michigan you are not given much of anything for free in jail. If you have the money you can have an account and purchase your own soap, tooth brush and toothpaste, etc., or any food items you might want between meals. If you don't have the money for an account you pretty much go without or are given a very low, low grade of toiletries that I hear is probably like lye. Either way, you don't get much and if you want anything more than what's been given to you whether it be food items or toiletries, you have to have a way to pay for it. Additionally, each day you are locked up you are charged a fee, like a motel and upon release, you can walk out with a bill that you are supposed to pay in a short amount of time. Otherwise, you violate your probation and can be locked up in a minute for not paying.  I've seen this with my own eyes. 

So M was in the office talking with me about whether or not to put a few bucks in P's account and I was happy to hear a softer, more compassionate side of him. Two other mother's in the office sitting nearby and hearing the conversation began ranting very loudly, "don't do it! Let him go without! Maybe he'll learn a thing or two......." and on and on it went. Somewhere in my mind I kept hearing "stone him, stone him". I've heard comments made by this supportive group (not!) stating that he is "hopeless." These are the moments where I wanted to say "Shut the heck up! You have no idea what you're talking about!" I've heard this with my own ears over the years. 

At 18 years old, they call him a "MAN". Most of us know that at 18 a young person is hardly a man or a woman. They are just warming up. Some choose constant choices that are unhealthy, unlawful, or unbelievable. We don't know the history of any one's life but our own and those closest to us. I'm not advocating that we coddle, ignore or excuse the behavior but the older I get the more I want to say that NO ONE is hopeless or worthless. These men and women were created by God for a reason, just as we were. If their choices have been less than wise, they have to learn life's lessons the hard way. Some will stay in this path for the rest of their lives while others will have a slow awakening and become mature in an unconventional way. I've also seen this with my own eyes. 

I want to say that there is ALWAYS hope. I would find it difficult to believe that you've enabled someone to stay in an unhealthy lifestyle, by giving them money in an account for a bar of soap, tube of toothpaste or buying them a pair of shoes.  

The years have gone by and I recently heard that "M" passed away. I have no idea what happened with any of his family.  But, I will always have hope for those on the path of recklessness. I've seen someone change with my own eyes. 

Extra Grace Required?

 

Recently, co-facilitating a women's bible study group I encountered someone that I was just unsure of from the get-go. This woman seemed to be just a little bit different and that was clear from the start. She seemed more critical, more determined to be heard and not so easy to embrace. Our study was scheduled for only six weeks, so I thought to myself that I can handle anything for a brief six weeks.

Brief it was! Over the six weeks the dynamics and the number of this group changed like the tides of the ocean which ebb and flow. Our room location changed after a few weeks. We lost some women due to conflicting fall activities with their children. We moved the tables around to make things a little more cohesive in this group.

Each week our EGR*  woman returned and each week she required less and less grace. Is that possible? Each week I, and others, prayed for this group and I prayed for my part in it. Each week my grip on this group was less and my expectations and ideals were changed; our walls went down a few bricks at a time and our care and love increased. I knew what was happening now and what would happen through the weeks to come was God's work. I was just here to share His smile, His touch and love as it was shared back to me.

We all meet EGR people. Maybe the connection is parent to child, husband to wife or sister to brother. Maybe we have to work side by side with an EGR person day after day. Maybe, at times, I'M the EGR person unbeknownst to me!

All I know is through life we may need or be the person that requires extra grace. If I want God to extend His grace to me, I must give grace to others. I'm learning to accept the things (or people) that I cannot change (and I can't nor is it my job to change anyone) and the WISDOM to know the difference.

Our EGR person became more beautiful as the weeks went by. Her smile was brighter, her words less edgy and her wall was gone. Hopefully, I reflected the very same results back to her.

*EGR and Extra Grace Required belong to Leadership Expert John Maxwell*

Pic by Laura McAlpine

Day 3 of The Bun Bar Challenge

Isn't it amazing how quickly you can become deterred from the thing you vowed to do?  Oh, I haven't given up on my Bun Bar Challenge, but I realized how much of a non-planner I am.  I'm a jump into the puddle with both feet and no boots kinda girl, which often leaves me walking home with wet feet and squishy shoes.  Now, I contemplate a long time about decisions as a rule. But I don't map out the way to get there, if you know what I mean.  I suppose some would call that foolish and immature behavior but I call it spontaneous and impulsive in a fun sort of way.  Let the reader use discernment,  as I ask for grace on my impulsiveness.  Yesterday, a villainous vendor carrying cookies to die for, stopped in and I let them pass me by. I put them near the coffee machine next to the homemade pound cake someone else brought to share.

By now, according to the challenge, I should have weighed myself 3 days in a row.  I was sure I had a bath scale tucked away somewhere in the house so on day 1, I began to go on a hunt, when voila, I found a scale!  Oh wait, it's a digital scale with a dead battery?? Yikes!  On day 2,  I picked up the proper battery and as soon as I got home, I replaced the battery with fervor as if I wanted to step on the scale and see my weight. Not!  But, I was eager to put all the pieces in place to make this 14 day challenge all it can be.  Once I put the battery in, the scale came alive, but I don't get it! It's a scale that reads in metric and has some other options that don't make any sense to me, because of course I don't have the manual any longer, and it must be older than I thought because I can't come up with any online details. At least not yet. 

Browsing the cabinets to determine what to eat has also become a bit like foraging.  I'm feeling like my sons when they were young and would shout "there's nothing to eat in this house!".  It's not true but why is it when you shop at the store and the idea in your head looks like a culinary delight becomes unidentifiable when it's time to create something edible and enjoyable?  Hmmmm, perhaps I may have signed on a little prematurely but these are fixable situations, for sure! 

I have to admit that I'm moving more than I was even one week ago and I can already feel the benefit from that choice!  I've discovered my 4-legged girl is not a morning dog, but yesterday and Monday when I grabbed her collar and leash, she obligingly accompanied me on a sweet morning walk. The last two days have been so beautiful weather-wise that walking has been a pleasure.  I've been accompanied by the singing of some fine-feathered friends, chirping with delight at the cooler, welcomed temperatures. It's been grand! Both mornings upon returning home after each walk, my furry friend high-tailed it right back onto the couch to grab some more zzzzzzzzzzzzzz's. 

Today, however,  when I arose Ms. Laney  was nowhere in sight at 6:00 am.  She chose to sleep in my son's room last night,  possibly in an effort to avoid me and to sleep-in just a little bit more. Humph. So, I chose to put on a little music and moved to the groove of the 70's for 15 minutes instead.  A fun way to start my day! On the job, which is quite sedentary, I'm purposefully getting up and walking more and when I have to go make copies or take paperwork or a package to the lab, I'm sashaying every chance I get. 

I haven't turned the switch off the little digital challenge man yet and I've avoided indulging in Mr. Bun Bar, so I'm going to keep trialing for a few more days and tonight I will make a quick stop to pick up a good old-fashioned scale and few other edible items to make eating a little more satisfying for the remainder of this week. 

 One Day at a Time, Sweet Jesus!