A New Decade and A New Choice

God is able to accomplish, provide, help, save, keep, subdue. 

He is able to do what you can't. 

He already has a plan. God's not bewildered. Go to Him.  

Max Lucado

It's 2020! Do you recall looking ahead as a child and thinking about what your life would look like at 2020? What plans did you have for yourself? Where would you be living and who would you be living with? The list goes on of how we coulda, woulda, shoulda landed where we are today. BUT, along came something you didn't plan on.  

What rocks your world?  I'm not sure, but I think once you've been down the avenue of life's rocky adventures, your world doesn't rock so easily any longer.  The news you get today is always compared to the awareness and knowledge of your loved one living a risky life with substances or other earth shattering moments.  Perhaps you've received the news that someone you love is in a debilitating situation with their health and you can't see beyond today or believe that there is a chance for healing or a longer life.  Maybe you were just notified of a crime that occurred and your loved one was right in the middle of it.  Or, the phone rang and it was your own doctor with news you never imagined would be yours.  When we are younger and look ahead we surely don't plan for these types of scenarios.  And why would we? We'd be living like Eeyore if our horizon was heavy laden all the time with impending storm clouds.  

Nothing teaches us more about life than living.  Each day has troubles of it's own, the Bible says, so don't go looking ahead for more to add to your burden.  

How do I do that, you wonder?  Each day remains the same it seems, as if you were stuck in a scene from the Groundhog Day Movie.  They leave the house, looking to score, and you cry. Wandering the house alone you find yourself creeping into the bedrooms looking for something, anything, to sort out your thoughts and squelch the impending truths that are lying in your path of cloudy vision.  You realize that you see things you don't understand. and you shake your head in bewilderment as if that will help you clear out the chaos in your thinking.  But you're so frozen in fear, you don't ask anyone about it because you can't accept what's right in front of your nose.  You haven't found a place to land with ears to listen because you're so ashamed about what you think is happening you simply find it impossible to utter a word.  You've convinced yourself you're all alone. And the vision plays out the same each day, month, year and decade.  Suddenly you're in 2020 and it looks the same as 2015, 2010 and as far back as you can remember. 

And you silently scream, how can I believe this statement about God?  He's so far removed from my situation, you believe, that He's no help to me.  But, eventually you find that you are thinking and talking to God more each day because you have no one else to talk to and nowhere else to go. Is He speaking to me? Is my situation really going to change as He says? 

If anything is true, it's the truth that we have choices.  And, if we choose to put ourselves into God's hand and change our thinking, OUR situation will change because WE will change.  It may not stop the addict from scoring or the drunk from another binge, but we might find our responses to the swill around us can be shifted.  Instead of jumping into the pigpen and trying to wrestle with swine, convincing them of another way, we walk on a new path in order to make choices that are good for US. Slowly we learn to side step the puddles lying on our paths. 

We begin to gain the peace that God promises, that the world won't understand.  How can we have peace in the midst of such chaos? Because we are learning to trust God at His Word that what He says is true.  And this trust isn't because of any magic, cosmic energy, aura or karma.  God doesn't subscribe to that thinking.  The Prince of Peace is above all man-made concoctions of the pathway to peace that doesn't include Him, simply because He IS peace. 

So, as we turn the calendar over to a new day, new week, new year and new decade, we also decide to turn our lives and wills over to the care of God.  Step Three in a nutshell says: "I can't.  God can.  I think I'll let Him."

Happy New Day! 

The Christmas Ghosts

Ebenezer Scrooge wasn't the only one that had no peace and was visited by ghosts through his hours of restless slumber. Those ghosts can be so active as they try to infiltrate the most lovely of days even when we're awake!   I often find myself alone through these days except for a few brief moments of breaking bread here and there with others, but the hours go slowly when you are by yourself through what appears to be the most wonderful time of the year.  


Yesterday evening I went to a Christmas Eve service where I attend church and as usually happens it brings peace to my soul and new vision to my sight of what Christmas is truly all about. And that's a good, good thing since the chaos of a life partnered with addicts can and will try to blur the truth if you're naively unaware. 

The Ghost of Christmas Past tries to enter into the present on a regular basis.  Flashing pictures before me of somber, sad days when the addict I loved was M.I.A. or incarcerated for yet another year, the ghost tries to rob me of today's love, peace and joy that's rooted down deep in my soul. He throws dirt on my soul in an effort to cover up the truth and tries desperately to turn my feelings into a tumultuous throwback of days gone by.  Ha!  That ghost doesn't know he's coming up against an arsenal of Biblical truths and 12 Step practices that have woven themselves in and through my mind, heart and soul and will come up against any lies or deceit of the past trying to make this day miserable.  Instead, with every fiery dart the ghost tries to shoot my way the Truth comes up to intercept and redirect that dart away from me and quickly floods my thoughts with accurate words that quell my fears and sadness. The Spirit of Truth says to me through His Word: "For You have rescued me from death; You have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light"  (Psalm 56:13)

Life-giving Light!! Take that, Marley!  

The Ghost of Christmas Present is really waging war with the Spirit of The Lord who is keeping my eyes and thoughts where they belong.  He reminds me in Philippians with these words:  "So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision - you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it." (Phil 3:15-16)

Oh, I could go on and on about the Scriptures in Philippians as they are a firm foundation to my faith walk and keeping me healthy along with the truths of Al-anon encouraging me to stay focused on NOW.  Not going back to rehash what's already passed and not going forward and fixating on an event or scenario that hasn't happened yet, but to just be here. Right here, right now. Don't you see how they fit hand in hand? It has turned MY thinking inside out and let my Creator whisper truth, guidance and direction in the way that He says I should go or when He says I should be still.  Those are hard lessons learned at times, but the most valuable lessons I've ever experienced.   

The Ghost of Christmas Future is no ghost to me. Not anymore. I've learned to not run ahead of myself and create angst where there doesn't need to be any. I am not going to try to outsmart my addict, or any other person in my life so I can prepare as to how I will react, do or not do the thing that hasn't even happened yet. God's word is rich with promises of leading me into the future in His loving care. Wow...what a lot of time spent unnecessarily in days gone by.  I'm so thankful to be out of the faux rat-race I was in!  Ugh! 

My Creator says: 

"Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand new."   (Isaiah 43:18 (MSG) 

Step Three says, and I go to this step often in my meditation, "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God as we understood Him".  That step is part of the 12 Steps of AA which began in August 1938 and became equally important to Al-Anon in it's beginnings in 1951. 

Make today count in the best way you can focusing on this one important truth. You are loved today whether in a crowd of people or sitting alone in a dark place.  Let the Light of Life shine in your heart and chase those ghosts away whether it be past, present or future. Your Creator desires to do something magnificent in your life!! Step back and let Him in!

Merry Christmas, my friends! 

The Big Picture

About 8 years ago at a women's meeting with women from my church, we were discussing a variety of topics. Suddenly, one woman was discussing her son's fight with cancer that he battled a few years prior and was now cancer free. I can't tell you what type he had, but that doesn't really matter; cancer is the word that shakes us all to our core. Listening intently as she recounted her experience, I noticed that she became more intense as her recollections came to the surface. The pain as a mother wondering if she'd lose her son was overwhelming and oozing from her pores. It was apparent that spending time suffering through her experience was still raw in many ways. Then the words that caused me to sit up straight and still grabbed my ears and shot a bolt through me from head to toe.

"Why couldn't God give this to some junkie instead of my son?"

My spirit was so wounded inside of me that I could say nothing. I wanted to scream "I'm a junkie's mother!! Do you think I love my son any less than you love yours??" But in my right mind I knew that this woman's pain was so great, that from where she sat, a person on drugs deserved nothing more than being left to die alone somewhere. It's their problem and they chose this lifestyle. And in my right mind I can see her very point. It doesn't seem fair or just that one person who is living a productive life, contributing to this earth should suffer at all while another who is seemingly sucking life out of everything and everyone around thrives.

We oft forget that in the garden when Adam and Eve went for the apple, God said in this life we would have nothing but hard work and unfair results. Nothing would be just in our minds. In the Bible the book of Matthew says that the rain will fall on the just and the unjust and the sun will rise on the good and the evil.

Life doesn't make sense. I don't get to call all the shots. I can only call the shots for which way I will go. There's not one promise that all will be right in my world. Nothing, nothing at all, is for sure except for God's promise that He will walk with me through this life and into the next if I let Him touch my soul. God alone sees the Big Picture.

Every junkie and alcoholic has or had a mother. Most junkies have loved ones scrambling in hopes that their junkie or alcoholic would get the Big Picture and let God change their lives inside out.

Today I choose to concentrate on the Big Picture when what I see two inches in front of me doesn't make sense or when MY PLAN isn't coming to fruition quickly enough to please me. Step 3 says:

We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God

In Celebrate Recovery we also read:

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Romans 12:1, The Message