The Most Wonderful Day of the Year?

So for many people this isn't the most wonderful day of the year.  And now the escalation of loneliness, sorrow and sadness seems insurmountable and so we hide out to drink, to use or to wail alone with tears that do not end.  But like the Grinch found out, this day came whether the Who's in Whoville had gifts, trees, ribbons and bows, or had nothing at all. The Spirit of Joy that day was in their heart and not in their circumstances. This revelation comes to each of us in our own way on our own day. But I encourage you to not let one more day go by with toxic thoughts that keep you from the Perfect Love that can sustain you and move you out from your trough and into freedom from the bondage of addiction, alcoholism and even enabling.

If you are in recovery, call a friend, go to a meeting, or spend an hour with someone that will give you some of their strength to carry on. If you aren't in recovery but battle with one that you had hoped would be, stop battling and reach out as well to others waiting for a kind word or a hug or a pair of gloves they desperately need. Share a meal and share a laugh.

Truly, each day can be The Most Wonderful Day of The Year if you let the light of His Perfect Love come to stay in your heart, soul and mind.



Merry Christmas

 *Picture googled*

Miss T and Me

Yesterday was packed full from beginning to end. In my place of worship and fellowship we believe in serving others in our community and also in some of the larger communities nearby.  Naturally, the larger communities are the places that people often don't want to venture to, due to unfamiliarity, notable skin color differences, and fear of crime. And naturally, we like to stay with what's familiar. Why, even in the animal kingdom more often than not, animals seek to be with and stay within their own safety zones and generally the only thing that drives them way out of their own dwelling space is hunger. Hunger drives us. It can't and won't be ignored.

The culture of Facebook is an entity of it's own and you hear of folks who either scoff at it or live and breathe by it.  I like Facebook for a selfish reason ~ 8 siblings.  Some live near and some live far and we've opted to use Facebook as our point of contact.  It seems rather pitiful that this is our mode of operation and yet, when we need to share a concern or celebrate good news, it seems like the best place to make sure we pass the word. A few years ago to my surprise, which has turned into my delight, I came across a childhood friend on Facebook via another friend's account. I saw her name and thought to myself, "that can't be the Karen I know, can it?" so I clicked on her name to see what I could see.

I've mentioned before that Detroit had such a white flight out in the late 60's/early 70's that our secure foundation of family and friends was shaken to its core. Imagine if you will, standing in the midst of a great gathering one minute, but by the time you turned 360 degrees nothing seemed or looked the same. Ninety percent of those familiar faces were gone. We were scattered in all directions and  those who you weren't tightly connected with seemed to have vanished into thin air. So now, nearly 40 years later, when I clicked on her name I read about  a life I didn't know at all.  Her story was so familiar to me now after dealing with an addict in my family and yet it just didn't match the girl I knew from my past. Reading along though, I quickly realized we had a real connection beyond anything I'd known about her before.Suddenly we could talk about recovery and the saving grace of Jesus and truly connect as if not a day without contact had passed between us.

Karen Robak Gates is a biker chick that spent many a year in the streets and on the stuff. She lived in the warmer states for many years doing her thing until one day she called out to her Higher Power and got a clean body and a redeemed soul, too. Forever thankful for what God is doing in her life, she eventually found her way back to Michigan and began a foundation to serve the forgotten, thrown away people in the city we grew up loving, Detroit.  So as I poured over Karen's story and pictures with faces that were so real, my heart was tugged upon to come along side and see what I could do.  A team was formed from my church and we have been going once a month to serve on the sidewalk in front of the decrepit, desolate and deserted train station in Detroit. Where once a grand matriarch stood so proudly, now a forgotten old relative is abandoned and left to die alone. Yet weekly The Ark Association stands on the sidewalks along side her, feeding the hungry and homeless a hot meal right on the sidewalks. There's no shelter from the cold, rain, snow or blistering heat. Shadowy figures come from nowhere like clockwork knowing that someone will be there without fail. It may be the only guarantee they have in life right now that doesn't quit. And although  The Ark Association is not a religious foundation their work is rather Biblical as we give food to the hungry and clothing to the naked, whether friend or foe.



Once a month our team assists their weekly outreach in bringing food and clothing to others who are hungry or need something to wear.  It was there a few weeks ago I met " Miss T".  A woman maybe near 40 whose story involves a history of an abusive husband who is now deceased from cancer, a pit of depression and drug usage and children with children who share her home, which she just received through assistance. Miss T also proudly tells me she is now in college and studying for her finals! But as I heard her story, I realized she has an apartment but not much else. Driving home that day I shared this information with my team and before the weekend was done an array of items were put together for her. A bed with bedding, a couch and tables, a few dishes and a little holiday jar of candy. along with a small artificial Christmas tree. A little basket of items for her three year old granddaughter was gathered as well. Yesterday we delivered these items and met her sons.  We were busy for less than an hour and later on Miss T left me a message stating that she was humbled and blessed to receive these items. We've helped her for a moment, but have been impacted for a lifetime.

The Scriptures never direct us to find out how people got into this situation, although if a friendship is cultivated that may come up.  It just directs us to share what we have. Maybe we weren't directed to ask because that would put us in a judging frame of mind and that's a place where I surely don't belong.

Ministry and service work go hand in hand. One meets the physical need and one meets the spiritual need and I'd say the giver gains more from the exchange than the receiver any day.  


God bless you and keep you, Miss T.

Fighting Naked

Well now, that brought you to my page, didn't it?

A few Sunday's ago, our teaching pastor stated that you wouldn't want to fight naked, referring to putting on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6) to do battle in your day to day living. After all, this is a war we're in, you know. I loved that Pastor Brooks wrapped up this passage into one little phrase, fighting naked.  It evokes all kinds of visual pictures of waging war against the enemy of my heart, mind and soul.

You can say "I do" on  your wedding day, but if you don't say "I do" every day you won't stay committed to the one made just for you. If you "do" the Twelve Steps only once in your recovery you will find that your thinking hasn't really been changed nor has the toxic behavior been truly omitted.

You can give your heart to Jesus once and that's all you really need to do, but a relationship with Him has to be sought after and cultivated like any thing else worth fighting for. Otherwise, how else will you really know Him and His true love for you?

I began to think about this recovery business and realized that the phrase "stop fighting naked" can apply to so many areas of life. Long term recovery comes from those who know to put on their armor daily by using tools in their tool box. Staying connected through meetings, friends in recovery and reading the pages of available literature and writings by your sister or brother in the wide world of recovery can make all the difference in your life.

You're in a fight for your life and it's a fight worth having. Put on your armor and check your weapons for protection and for heaven's sake, stop fighting naked! 


Megamind*All pics Googled*


Happy Birthday, Daniel

It's hard to fathom that we went our separate ways 21 years ago. I wonder if you are aware just how much I think of you, always with love.  I imagine you in your daily life but in reality I realize that I'm probably way off in my imaginary world. This happens every year as your birthday and mine ride arm in arm, back to back.

We stared at each other for such a long time, drinking in every little detail; every fine feature as if cataloging each item into a little memory byte for future recall. Finally, when the moment came and we parted, I thought my guts would come unglued from sobbing until there weren't any more tears. Guttural groans rose up inside of me like bile before a violent flu reaction. It wasn't nice. It didn't feel good at all. But it was right. Oh, I questioned myself repeatedly for days following our parting. Was this the right decision? What could I offer you besides unconditional love?

In my mind and on paper I wrote prose and poetry exclaiming my love for you. Have you ever read them? Did I ever give them to you? I love seeing pictures of you on occasion or hearing of your life's activities proving that you are well and happy. I could never have imaged that this is where I would be when I tried to look ahead all those years ago.

You came along in a very tumultuous time in my life.  Nothing was going as planned because there really wasn't a good plan. I lived in a chaotic place trying to make sense of nonsense. Believing lies instead of seeking truth. I ran after every whim of empty promises and moments of happiness that blew my way. Where was my foundation? Crumbling underneath me. I never knew that I was struggling in denial of codependency. I really didn't know that this wasn't the way everyone lived.  I couldn't figure out how to rise above my circumstances so I wallowed and played and stomped around in the mud waiting for the next big promise to come along.

The decision I had to make was just about the most difficult one I've ever made, but it was the first step in doing the 'next right thing'. I chose your parents with great deliberation and love.   I prayed for direction and wisdom and received strength to carry out and carry on when I wanted to just throw my hands up and say "I changed my mind!".

Today, I recalled the words from your grandfather who thanked me for such a great gift in their lives. In my heart I thank God for allowing me to hear those words and be encouraged by the decision I made so long ago.

Happy Birthday, Daniel. I pray that someday you will know for sure just how much I've loved and prayed for you all these twenty-one years. May you walk with God as you mature into the man He always planned for you to be.

He has shown all you people what is good.
   And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
   and to walk humbly with your God. 

Micah 6:8

The List

Sitting in the doctors waiting room for my diabetic check-up, I picked up a magazine with a woman on the cover in a slick looking two-piece bathing suit. Not my typical choice of magazines but her age was mid forties and of course as I picked it up I went into a mental diatrabe against one's ability to look like this, blah, blah, blah. However, the magazine somewhat surprised me with the content of articles and topics listed.. Quickly being called into the examining room for another period of waiting, I took the magazine with me and hunkered down to read the articles one by one.  Prepared to hate Ms. Covergirl, I decided to scan the article and readied myself to be disgusted as I read about this woman keeping her life in order despite having recently divorcing; it semi caught my interest. Clearly money wasn't an issue so I couldn't connect on that level. Her career seems to allow her flexibility and time with her children at home for a better than average amount of time. Couldn't connect there.

Finally and nearly at the end of this woman's story, something I could totally relate to caught my eye. She was asked by the interviewer how she maintained peace and calm against what could be a chaotic life. Her answer was that she starts each morning with writing a "thankful list of 5 things, instead of praying and asking God for what I want".  HUH???  I was blown away with this recovery plan in her life because this magazine wasn't a typical or anywhere near recovery topic type of magazine. It redeemed her value in life in my way of thinking. As if what I think matters one bit in her life.

So, reading that bit of information stuck with me and the next morning as I was doing my 50 minute commute to work, I began my morning meeting with God. The car is a great place for me to confess my sin, worship or just meditate on His amazing love.  I began the morning with prayer and then thought to myself, "wait, I'm just going to make my list of five things for which I'm thankful"...... easy, right?  Gulp.

I was stunned.  Oh, I had no trouble ticking off five things, in fact you could become quite good at it if you look at life's necessities in your life. If you've got family, food, shelter, clothes and music, you're covered right? You'd think.  I began my verbal chat with My Creator and was calling out my thankfulness one by one.  I started with one son and stumbled around. What's wrong I thought? I realized that while I rattled off a prayer of thanks, I was trying to follow it up with "but, would You please...." I backed up and tried again.  Almost as soon as I said the next person's name I was thankful for, I drifted off into my game plan again as to what God needed to change in that person's life too.

Oh, no. This can't be my way of being thankful, can it? Lord, why can't I just be thankful for the person in my life and let You be the conscience in their life? I'm not Your right hand helper, though I'd like to be appointed to that position I think sarcastically to myself.  I'm humbled and ashamed to realize that I have been approaching My Creator with a heart full of thanks, along with a cart attached of "and while we're talking about you know who, would you mind....." requests.

This week has definitely challenged me to begin my day with thanks and to leave the rest to Him.

How I long for The Wisdom to Know The Difference.