With My Own Eyes

Some years back I worked with a co-worker whose step-son "P" was troubling, to say the least. He was 18 years old, had a "maybe" baby (the family wasn't convinced 100% that he was the father) and had been kicked out of his home. P went to live with his grandmother and subsequently was kicked out of his grandmother's home, too. By all accounts he seemed to be rolling head first down the path of a life spent in and out of jail, or worse. He dropped out of school and was involved in some very questionable activity ending with a gunshot through his neck. His story of that action is unclear. Now, step-dad and mom found out he was in county jail, but they didn't know why. It didn't sound very positive for him, did it?

This hard-nosed step-dad "M" was struggling over whether or not to put a few dollars in the young man's commissary account.  Now, I don't know how it is where you are, but here in Michigan you are not given much of anything for free in jail. If you have the money you can have an account and purchase your own soap, tooth brush and toothpaste, etc., or any food items you might want between meals. If you don't have the money for an account you pretty much go without or are given a very low, low grade of toiletries that I hear is probably like lye. Either way, you don't get much and if you want anything more than what's been given to you whether it be food items or toiletries, you have to have a way to pay for it. Additionally, each day you are locked up you are charged a fee, like a motel and upon release, you can walk out with a bill that you are supposed to pay in a short amount of time. Otherwise, you violate your probation and can be locked up in a minute for not paying.  I've seen this with my own eyes. 

So M was in the office talking with me about whether or not to put a few bucks in P's account and I was happy to hear a softer, more compassionate side of him. Two other mother's in the office sitting nearby and hearing the conversation began ranting very loudly, "don't do it! Let him go without! Maybe he'll learn a thing or two......." and on and on it went. Somewhere in my mind I kept hearing "stone him, stone him". I've heard comments made by this supportive group (not!) stating that he is "hopeless." These are the moments where I wanted to say "Shut the heck up! You have no idea what you're talking about!" I've heard this with my own ears over the years. 

At 18 years old, they call him a "MAN". Most of us know that at 18 a young person is hardly a man or a woman. They are just warming up. Some choose constant choices that are unhealthy, unlawful, or unbelievable. We don't know the history of any one's life but our own and those closest to us. I'm not advocating that we coddle, ignore or excuse the behavior but the older I get the more I want to say that NO ONE is hopeless or worthless. These men and women were created by God for a reason, just as we were. If their choices have been less than wise, they have to learn life's lessons the hard way. Some will stay in this path for the rest of their lives while others will have a slow awakening and become mature in an unconventional way. I've also seen this with my own eyes. 

I want to say that there is ALWAYS hope. I would find it difficult to believe that you've enabled someone to stay in an unhealthy lifestyle, by giving them money in an account for a bar of soap, tube of toothpaste or buying them a pair of shoes.  

The years have gone by and I recently heard that "M" passed away. I have no idea what happened with any of his family.  But, I will always have hope for those on the path of recklessness. I've seen someone change with my own eyes.