12 Steps Peace

12 Steps by 12 Steps Cliff and I are both living life somewhat "normally". Whatever that is.

Mr. Boss has season tickets for the Detroit Tigers, which they've done for years. Customers are given first dibs and then if games are not taken, we can use them. Midweek games are generally wide open due to schedule conflicts for the "average" Joe. Whoever that is.

This week such an opportunity became available and I picked up the four tickets (really good seats) for the Tigers vs. Tx Rangers last night. Cliff asked his buddy Andrew and several other people to go including Son #1 but due to one reason or another most folks couldn't go. Eventually he rounded out the foursome and they headed down to the D to see the game.

It was a perfect night for a game! The weather was perfect, the Tigers are playing decently so far this year and Verlander was on the mound. I was quite comfortable with the event, especially because Andrew, who is also in recovery, was not one of the people Cliff used with or ran the streets with in his former life. But as the evening went on, the creep tried to put me back into the old panic (codependent) mode. I recalled that Cliff had to be to work at 6:00 am today and being that he's still dependent on me for transportation I started to think about whether or not he would get enough rest, whether or not he washed his uniform and whether or not he was in his seat at the stadium or ditching his new friends. Arrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh.

Tip-toeing into an old pattern of behavior, I peeked into Cliff's room (the door was wide open) and noticed his uniform was not washed. I decided I would "help" him out and wash it. Clothing in hand, I stopped myself and said no, it's not my uniform and not my responsibility to handle. I dropped it where it lay. As I watched the end of the game, my stomach began to churn and my thoughts began to go to the "what-ifs". At that time I realized I didn't want to go that route so I picked up my recovery bible and looked for specific verses regarding peace. I also realized that I had to trust Cliff at this time and not go backwards into the old patterns. How sly the creep is; he's so good at trying to usurp what my Higher Power, God, has done in both our lives.

As I continued to search out some readings on peace, I relaxed and left it alone. I went to bed as I have been, believing that Cliff would get home (he did), take care of his own business (he did) and be up early enough, looking presentable for me to get him to work ontime (he was).

Life is lovely today and today is all I need to take care of. Thank you, God.
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