The Next Right Thing

Tonight Cliff and I were talking about our days, our recent meetings we've attended and what we've learned about ourselves. Cliff reminded me about a situation that happened in the last few weeks. It's not earth shattering but it is a milestone in his life.

A friend of Cliff's was picking him up for a meeting that they regularly attend. This particular friend has been quite generous in being Cliff's transportation to several meetings a week and part of the routine they've developed is that on the way to the meeting they stop and get "real coffee" from Tim Horton's or Starbucks. Friend always purchases one for Cliff. So that night, friend was coming by yet again, and I offered Cliff $10.00 to give to friend to buy two coffees and to put the rest in his gas tank. Since Cliff has been released from prison he hasn't once asked me for a dime. This in itself is a miracle in the making, especially since he hasn't found a job yet despite the persistent job search. I also know friend and his wife and their young family and how tight money is at their house too. I know I didn't have to offer the money; some may say that's codependency (controlling) or enabling issues, but I disagree. It was just a gesture of friendship from me to friend. Several hours later Cliff came home and he handed the $10.00 bill back to me. He said that friend wouldn't take it and that it's not out of his way, blah, blah, blah. Money's tight here too so quite frankly, I appreciated it and put it back in my wallet.

In our discussion tonight Cliff reminded me that in the past that money would have never made it back into my hands. He would have found a reason, an excuse, or just let me believe that it had gone to friend and I wouldn't have been the wiser. Cliff would have found a way to use that $10.00 in a less than savory way, as was his pattern. Nowadays, for $10.00 an addict can get something to meet that urge in one form or another.

This new kind of person living under my roof is proof that God has his hands on us, our situations and our choices if we do the next right thing. It's what Cliff is practicing and doing the next right thing has changed our world.

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2 comments:

MilesPerHour said...

From my many years of recovery and counseling I can say that you both did the right thing. I did not see co-dependency on your part. Cliff had earned some of trust back.

God has plans for us addicts and co-dependents or he wouldn't have made us the way we are.

May He bless you both one day at a time.

Heather said...

I'm so happy for you. {{{{Hugs}}}}