...into the new year has been an amazing feeling. Compared to last year or years gone by it stands alone, proud and strong. It's really a gift that Cliff and I have each found our serenity through recovery at the same time in life. This was not orchestrated by me, but by the One who loves me unconditionally.
As the new year approached, I met with a few different women who mentor me in life; though different in our relationships they have each challenged me to work on my goal setting for 2009 and have each pointed out my strengths in an almost identical pattern. Neither one knew what the other was suggesting, yet both almost line up with each other as if they planned this path for me.
I've never really done well at goal setting. In years gone by, I thought about my goals a lot but they felt like lofty dreams ~ silly stuff, so to speak. I wanted so many things for myself but really didn't know how to get from here to there without a lot of work and change that seemed like impossible tasks. Being pulled and stuck in a chaotic way of life and thinking prohibited me from seeing through the muck to the other side. As the years continued to go by I simply began to feel that I'd missed my chance. That God would move onto the next person in fulfilling their vision, goal or dream as if He would grant our wishes with a magic wand. Now, I knew better than that. I knew God didn't perform magic tricks yet I seemed to "wish" my life away as I continued to live in that "never, never happen-land" where I wandered for years.
But this year is different. I feel it in my bones. I hear it in my thoughts and I hear it from others who are encouraging me and affirming that this isn't a lofty dream. I see it in my future in one form or another as God's giving me the ability to sit down and write out my goals with reasonable steps to reach them. Best of all, He literally dropped me into recovery meetings and gave me the 12 steps that have brought the serenity into my life to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
He isn't finished with me yet. Not by a long shot.
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