Purposeful Living


I woke up this morning at 4:15 am. Sometimes I welcome this early start to my day, but most times I wish I could sleep just a bit longer. After flipping back and forth in bed I decided to get up. There was a light on at the kitchen table and, lo and behold, Cliff was sitting there with a cup of coffee and reading his AA book. What a sight! So, I grabbed coffee too and a great discussion began about our recovery's and God's touch on our lives.

Cliff is working his program really well, but I struggle at times because he isn't employed. I remind myself that his recovery is first and foremost. I remind myself that the economy is so bad that it may be a while before he has a job. The honeymoon is fading away as the reality of life sets in. We had a few words the other day about his place in this house. It was kind of funny because he started pulling out all the stops and tossing recovery phrases my way such as 'YOU need to do a step 4.........YOU owe me an apology for.....'

The more he demanded the less I responded. My old pattern would have been to stand my ground until he yielded out of respect toward me. Of course, it wouldn't have been respect for me at all but merely a begrudging action to get me off his back and it most likely would not have happened even though I would have expected it. After that little barrage of words, Cliff left to go to a meeting, which the old Cliff would not have done. Several hours later on his return a new Cliff walked in. Calmer, serene and apologetic. Recognizing our character defects is coming to both of us much quicker than in years past. The amends were made and life moved on. Cliff's attitude about being more responsible within these four walls has improved and it's showing in other areas of his life. My thoughts and attitude about Cliff's choices and my expectations are constantly being nipped and reshaped too. Learning to not offer the "you know, maybe you should...." and "why don't you...." expertise that I have (tongue-in-cheek) has improved our relationship tenfold.

With all that being said, I wanted to share something that I read this morning in Cliff's "Celebrate Recovery" bible. This bible has many "extras" for those in recovery such as daily meditations geared toward specific steps and life connection excerpts. Good, good stuff.


Under Life Connection it says:


"Before recovery, our substance addictions, our compulsive habits, or our codependency were our master. But God wants us to choose him as our master - not so he can pull our strings and control us, but so we can follow him freely as our great and compassionate guide. The first master forces us into slavery; the second invites us to experience freedom, healing and purposeful living." I love these reminders.



Have a purposeful day!
*All Pics Googled*


11 comments:

Lou said...

I'm doing it..on purpose.

indistinct said...

I love that paradox. About surrendering to God, giving up my will, and then gaining freedom.

Thank you for sharing a bit of your life with us.

MilesPerHour said...

although they say that "the steps are numbered because that is the order you need to do them in", I have always thought that the 10th step could be incorporated immediately into our recoevry program. Just my opinion.

Syd said...

I don't use the You word or should all over myself. Glad that Cliff is moving forward with his recovery.

Cat said...

Laura - I could totally relate! I no longer stand my ground but realize, most times its time to end the conversation and walk away... I have this thing in my head that says - "Time to let this go.."

steveroni said...

In the past I began thinking my wife had a serious health problem, because she spent loads of time in the bathroom.

Now I know why.

It IS difficult to argue with oneself in a substantive manner...

Prayer Girl said...

It's wonderful to hear the recovery process "in action" in your home.

I'll do the best I can to have a purposeful day. Right now my purpose is to read posts and learn.

J-Online said...

It's wonderful to hear how you and Cliff are working together. I'm sure it brings hope to many other Moms.

Indigo said...

Paul has 20 years. I am a few months short of 5 years. In the beginning he was truly trying to guide, but it made me resentful as all get out. Waking up to find the Big Book on my dresser, left there by him. Finally I told him if I was to do this, it had to be my will and in my time. He finally grasped what I was saying.

Yes, it's a great thing to have your mentor living with you, but sometimes you simple need to be understood. Sounds like you two are figuring that out. (Hugs) Indigo

Annette said...

Thank you Laura, Very encouraging stuff. Really, you have no idea...this is like food for my soul. Something to grab onto and hold with me.

Anonymous said...

logically