Dearly Departed Mom

They came to say goodbye. The gathering of the clan in May 2003 was the last time we were altogether with you. I remember how your eyes gleamed when you looked at your little grandchildren running around in the spring of that year. Your limbs may have been locked up but your eyes and your thoughts were running rampant with activity! Can it really be six years ago today since Dad and I walked you to the gate of heaven? So much has happened since then.

Oh, Mom, I long to tell you of my days and my family. Son #1 and Lovely Espousa (you haven't met her, but you'd LOVE her!) came over with your two little great grandgirls. Did I tell you about them yet? I know someday I'll tell them about you. Absolutely smoochable and sweet from head to toe! Son #1 is waiting to get his official start date on his new position with DTE and they are moving up near Dad ~ they get to live in "God's Country" in Michigan! The day was especially joyful because Cliff was home too and your prayers have been answered, Mom! He's living a clean and healthy life right now. He works out when he can, works 40+ hours each week and is paying his way. Cliff's never accomplished this before and I know you've never seen him look so good. He's even mentioned that he's considering college. Mom, you'd be so proud of your grandsons, so proud!

This past Saturday Steven graduated high school and received an award for being an all around athlete in his community too! Tomorrow, Jack graduates as well. Can you believe how the years have gone by so quickly? I can't. Somedays I miss you so much, Mom. It seems the more the years go by the stronger the longing is to talk with you. I carry on conversations with you in the car, in the store and on my job. Can you hear me? Uncle Jim told me at your passing party that I'd think of you every day. He's right!

Dad is doing well. He's remarried and seems happy to have a companion, but I know there are days he's with you, Mom - I can see it in his eyes. We are planning a surprise party for him in August for his 80th birthday. Since his birthday's in October, he should really be stunned! Of course, we have a pretense for which we're gathering to keep him at ease. You know he's not crazy about all the attention, but I think he's gonna love it!

Well that's about it for now, Mom. I've checked on your resting place and will be back out soon to say hello and give you another flower or two. Oh, and one more thing. I'm so sorry Mom that I didn't give you more slack and grace when you were in my life. I had no idea how much your early life had been shaped by alcoholism. I just didn't know. You were an amazing mother and I'm just beginning to understand even more what you were trying to manage deep on the inside all those years. You were the best!


I love you.

10 comments:

Gin said...

Beautiful letter to your mom. I know she would be proud of all that you and your entire family have accomplished. Mom's are so special aren't they?

Cat said...

I think you did tell her - and what a touching tribute to her as well.

Syd said...

A great tribute to your beloved mother. Thanks for sharing this.

Annette said...

That is beautiful Laura.

Lou said...

Through the wisdom of friends such as you, and by working a program, I have come to give my mother the same slack she always gave me. I'm so grateful I saw it sooner rather than later. She is a wonderful woman, mother, and has a great, giving heart.

I'm sure your mother loves the conversations you have with her.
Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

beautifully said sis. sometimes i think of grandpa d and want to smash him for things done in the past. he shaped mom in so many ways, not all of them good. but, mom's strength was mind blowing. so many kids at a young age, pete, you and i in a row with challenges. i miss her a lot and only hope she knows. soon it will be "happy birthday Mom". we all miss you.

~C~ said...

This is a beautiful letter and touched me. My mother just died 2 days ago.....my heart hurts. Thank you for sharing.

Anonymous said...

You are a really effective writer Leelump! I had to stop halfway through and readthe rest later so I wouldn't bawl like the big baby I am.
Our mother was the epitome of kindness to others. I never heard her say a bad word, for the sake of gossip, about anyone. May she rest in peace.
The Piggy Bank Kid

clean and crazy said...

i just love this, i miss my mom too. i think i need to write her a letter soon.

Anonymous said...

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