A Duet with Dad

In nearly 24 hours from now, a friend and I will be jetting off to a land I love, wandering around the countryside to take in the exhilarating sights and sounds of Scotland.  This isn't my first encounter there, but it is the first trip where I've made all the plans and arrangements on my own.  Yikes!!

In 2014, I was in Scotland with my Dad and 7 of 8 siblings along with a few other family members for our Clan AGM meeting.  Clan history is what tells the tale of families in this beautiful country and Scotland is steeped in amazing stories, castles, inventions, clan wars and uprisings.  

In about 5 weeks, Dad will be 90.  90 years = 32,850 days!  That's equivalent to 788,400 hours if you're counting!  I wanted to be sure I saw Dad before I traveled an ocean away.  He's spent the last 2 weeks in a rehab facility following another health concern that seems to have plagued him for nearly 2 years.  Dad took a hard fall and broke his hip/pelvic in such a way that surgery wasn't an option. Healing through pain was the only thing that was offered. Slowly, he began to heal but was taken down more than once with dehydration, infections, stumbles and heart issues.  Thus, he's in another rehab, drinking antibiotics through his veins and healing from 3 cracked ribs. And, he says, he's just tiring out.  Watching him sleep seems almost painful at times as his breathing isn't always rhythmic of a healthy man.

Tonight we chatted about a host of many things and Dad was chipper throughout.  We conversed about various family members while I shared pictures of the young ones posted on Facebook.  We discussed his upcoming birthday celebration where we will gather in his honor. Dad reminisced about Mom more than once and then with great interest we discussed my journey.  As the conversation of Scotland went on Dad said "Gee, I think you're going to have a wonderful trip and if I weren't in this condition I'd buy a ticket and go with you!" I wish you could, Dad.  We have traveled well together over the past 5 years.

Something came to Dad's mind and suddenly he broke into a song from his youthful years and in the midst said he was going to teach it to me so I could sing it with him.  He mentioned that he used to sing it with his sister Anne and then went back into the chorus, waving his finger as he often did when directing an imaginary chorus and finished with a "boom boom" in a timely staccato finish.  Singing was a huge part of life in our childhood home throughout the years and continued until the last days of my mom and dad's marriage.  I would love to sing with you, Dad!

Wistfully he spoke of Mom again and I shared with Dad a few of our intimate  moments she and I exchanged near the end of her days.   She took her last breath in 2003, but as Dad's days are closing in on him, he seems to be missing Mom all the more. It's been hard to watch this virile man with nary a day in the hospital for 88 years of life, now being bounced from pillar to post as he's growing tired and old.  When I think of Dad in my solitary minutes, a line from Dan Fogelberg's song Leader of The Band comes to mind often which says "The leader of the band is tired and his eyes are growing old".  A somber feeling comes with it.

As I got up to go, I hugged and kissed Dad and he said to me "I may not be here when you get back.  God may call me home".  I agreed and said, "He may also call me home!" 

With a hopeful heart and a melancholy mood, I will go on my adventure believing Dad will be here when I get home as we have a birthday celebration approaching.  And I'm especially looking forward to learning a new duet to sing with my favorite balladeer!




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