When Time Stands Still



We like to approach life in moments of time.  A floral scent in the air immediately takes us back to a childhood memory. A song can transport us to our first romantic encounter with someone we loved.  Often times we reconnect all these feelings to someone we've loved and lost but, really, it could be a connection to any life event.  A family vacation, a pajama party with girlfriends where we laughed all night or the loss of a beloved family member we thought would never leave us can all be snippets of time we often linger over to replay or re-script with a different result. 

When did you last experience time standing still for you?  In the world of chaos stemming from addiction or substance abuse time stands still in moments of fear. Holding our breath in hopes that the one we love will resurface intact of any harmful effects is a constant place we stand still. We usually struggle with finding something joyful that makes us catch our breath.  In the spirit of a new year ahead, however,  I have a post of another type. 

Recently we welcomed a new member to our family ~ she blew in with the winter winds of the new year to the shock and amazement of our family.  Certainly, to the wonder of my eldest brother who found out at the age of 67 that he is a father! 

With the dawn of Ancestry.Com and 23andMe along with social media the world as we know it, is getting smaller. My "new niece", JK, had thoughts and questions all her life about her background stemming from feelings of not belonging, not connecting, with the men she had in her life as father figures. JK wanted to do the Ancestry DNA kit offered by Ancestry.com and longed to see what was running through her veins, longing to put some rest to the gnawing feelings to "hunt for who I am".  

JK had spoken so much about her desire to search and seek information about her background she received a DNA test kit as a Christmas gift and promptly sent in her saliva collection the very next day. While the test results can take up to 8 weeks to be processed, it seems JK received the results back in record time. She was excited to confirm that she has 22% German/Swiss/Netherlands DNA which she knew, but was shocked to learn that she had a high percentage of Scot/Irish and Welsh DNA. Along with the results of her DNA she also received a listing of surnames, many being all from the same family. There were several names of immediate family members called out which made her even more certain she had stumbled onto something big.  JK spoke with her mother, asking about the predominant names on the list to find out that her mom dated someone in the early 80's whose name matched exactly to one of the names on the list. Suddenly, it all made sense. 

With piqued curiosity, JK did some digging around on Facebook and soon zeroed in on the man she thought could be her father. She decided to reach out to him and see what kind of response she would receive. 

"I think we need to talk"

JK messaged the man she thought she belonged to, (who also has JK as part of his name) but he didn't see her message or respond at first. Whenever someone says I think we need to talk, it usually makes us sit up and take notice whether good news or bad news is coming. Finally after a few attempts to make contact an agreed connection to at least talk was made. A conversation followed and JKM confirmed that he remembered her mom and that they had briefly dated. Comparing notes and checking dates JKM responded. "Yes," he said, "there's a good chance I am your father."  I imagine that time stood still during that conversation. Shortly after a few more encounters, JKM announced to our family that he had a daughter and 2 grandchildren! 

A flurry of phone calls went on between father and daughter and JK became more euphoric with each passing exchange. Through Facebook, pictures were pored over and questions were being answered about looks, height and interests. JK's redheaded daughter was delighted to find another redhead in the family. Me, too!! 

Rapidly, plans were put in place for JKM to fly from WA to NV and meet his family which consisted of his daughter, JK, and 2 grandchildren - one 12 year old girl and one 6 year old boy.  We were all waiting on the sidelines with bated breath for this meeting to take place and were overjoyed to see the pictures of such a glad meeting, face to face. It was very emotional from my seat on the observation deck; I can't imagine the emotions that were flying in the physical realm of this interaction except that perhaps it was another moment when time stood still.  JK posted many, many pictures throughout the weekend and their smiles couldn't have been any bigger. Pure joy sprung to life off each photograph that was shared. 

JK wrote a beautiful post following the weekend of instantaneous love and connection -  "What a weekend, words can not describe the happiness I have in my heart for this visit" 

JKM and I texted back and forth when he got home and he said "You may quote me - I get all fluttery inside when I think about this past weekend."  

What a way to begin 2018!  To our surprise and delight, JK is a wonderful woman who is excited and thankful that the missing piece has been found. We are all "over the moon"! 





Over The Moon


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nicely done Laura, I will print it our and keep a copy. Thanks for telling our story.
The Piggy Bank Kid

amyfaith said...

how beautiful this story is Laura!!!!! the pix have had me crying such tears of joy!!!!