I was wracked with grief last week. Not from any one thing in particular but a mounting sort of grief. This happens on occasion when I'm frustrated with the things I cannot change. This is the gut-wrenching hard part of recovery. This is the hard part of trusting God, my Higher Power, with everything, absolutely everything. I keep taking it back to "help a little bit" and suffering all the more.

So I gave it back to Him again and am putting into practice at long last, something that I preach. I'm making sure I find the time to spend with Him in the morning with readings from scripture and from my al-anon books. Over the years I've jumped into this routine and then let life sort of push me around and I forget just how much I need this practice. It truly allows me to go into the day in a much better frame of mind and keeps me from having misplaced struggles.

Yesterday, I had such a good day and it showed. Someone I work with told me I was "extra" bright looking and she attributed it to my haircut, but I knew where that little light was coming from. The peace that surpasses all understanding when I recognize just how powerless I am and ask Him to lead my life and know that I can rest in the palm of His hand.


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