Often, the day after any celebratory event can leave one feeling down, sad or alone. For me, that would have been caused by my expectations of the planned event and that my expectations hadn't been fulfilled.
Not this year, though. Little Mini-chick had her birthday this past week, so Son #1 and Lovely Espousa had a little celebration on Christmas Eve. It was a fun time with Mini-chick and I was glad to be there. Cliff was not invited. We've talked a lot about this scenario, and while I have some torn feelings about this, it's not my situation to control. Thankfully, Cliff is working hard at his program and has a sponsor that told him to let it go. He told him that it was 2 years following his own sobriety before his family would have anything to do with him. Especially his brother. I hope it doesn't take 2 years for Cliff's situation with his brother, but I'm grateful that Cliff has a sponsor who has been in Cliff's shoes and can shed light on this for him. He reiterated everything I've said, but he has the experience to back it up. Therein lies the validity that Cliff needs and the ability to work through this in a positive manner.
Christmas day was celebrated in a very peaceful way. Cliff helped me get the house ready for company and I was very grateful for that. I'm battling something that's been trying to get me for a while and this week it's beginning to reveal itself in unpleasant ways. Fatigue has entered in too, so Cliff's help was right on time. My father and his wife came for dinner so it was just the four of us.
The dinner was awesome if I do say so myself. I made a pork tenderloin with a delicioso cranberry glaze that had fresh rosemary and onion in it, red-skin garlic mashed potatoes, fresh greenbeans with onions and balsamic vinegar and baked french bread. Dessert was simple with baked brownies, topped with peppermint ice-cream and hot fudge. MMMMMMMMM.
Our company left by 6, and our plans to get together with Lou and her hubby were nixed by my not feeling 100%. Wise choice, Lou, as today is all revealing. :( Cliff and I just hunkered down in our appropriate places, chatted about the lovely day, and watched an old Victor Borge presentation on public TV. We laughed ourselves silly.
The best part of this holiday is that the day after Christmas, I don't feel sad or remorseful that my sons are not at peace, yet. I was able to enjoy the days given to me this season just as they were, had joy in every situation and a peace that passes all understanding. That allowed me to Sleep in Heavenly Peace and wake up the day after, moving through this day in His peace.
Thank you, God.