Choosing to Believe

Candyland! Kids, presents and candy were everywhere today when our church held it's annual Angel Tree Christmas Party. That's the party that is planned for children of incarcerated parents. It's an awesome day and this party was so well done that I felt like I was turning in circles with my mouth hanging open in amazement most of the time. I did participate and volunteered in small ways but the planning and the work that went into this day came to a beautiful result when all was said and done, of which my codependent self let others do. This is a great big step for me not feeling like I had to be in the managing and hanging in from morning till night.

Over the past year I've met a number of other women like me with incarcerated, drug addicted sons. Except for Lou whom I met at our recovery meeting, the other mothers and I met at the Jail/Prison letter writing ministry and today they were also part of the volunteers that helped host today's party. As the day would allow, there were small pockets of conversations taking place as people had moments to catch up with someone they knew or meet a new friend they were working with.

I got a present of my own, too! Looking around from time to time I did a double take more than once noticing Cliff engaged in conversations with some of the other women who've walked in my shoes. Seeing Cliff in these moments sent a surge of gratefulness and pride through my veins that I hadn't anticipated at all. Cliff agreed to volunteer today when asked by others, not by me. Love it. He worked hard and well and was always visible among the workers. Not once did someone ask me if I'd seen Cliff in the last 15 - 30 minutes nor was he MIA once today. Love it more. Cliff stayed after the party (when I went home) to help break down the event and reset the room for tomorrow's services. Love it lots.

Mostly, I really, really loved seeing Cliff speaking to the other mothers. He looks so clean and healthy and is making choices and working a program that allows him to stay in the day that I'm sure it is giving hope to the other mothers. My friends, Lou, Harriet, Cindy and Mary Kay, all beautiful mothers looked at Cliff with encouragement and pride instead of sideways glances that used to come Cliff's way in his prior life. The gift of a clean and healthy Cliff is the best gift I'll get this year and for many more to come.

On my knees night after night, I continue to pray for Cliff's choices of recovery and believing for the day of seeing four other healthy, clean men in our midst.

I choose to believe.

*All Pics Googled*

8 comments:

Lou said...

I was thinking exactly this yesterday. Cliff is so handsome, he is polite, and was a huge help. He was NORMAL! I smile inside because Cliff has a sort of serious air about him, while my Andrew is always the joker.

And yes, he gave me hope. Recovery is everywhere. God is there for all, just ask for His help. There is reason for us to despair.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

I believe too, and I hear that wherever two or more are gathered, He is in the midst doing miracles still!

Thanks Laura!

big Jenn said...

Thanks for sharing your hope. jeNN

J-Online said...

What a wonderful gift Cliff gave to you yesterday as well as the other mother's full of hope for their incarcerated loved ones. Stories like this bring me peace and happiness.

MilesPerHour said...

When it comes to addiction hope is the most powerful for those effected by it.

Syd said...

It sounds as if Cliff is a great example and a source of hope for many. I'm so glad for him and for you.

indistinct said...

Thank you for sharing this. You've shown me something of courage, since I am afraid to hope.

Cat said...

What a wonderfully heart touching story!

Cat