That Sinking Feeling
Sometimes I get the feeling that I will always be "stuck" in the chaos of life. I know that the steps are here to help me get out of that feeling but there are days when it's a battle of the old and the new. The old patterns and thinking are rearing themselves up against the new thinking and attempts at taking care of life properly. Once in a while, I still get that sinking feeling.
I have had interesting jobs and experiences. BUT I don't have a degree. That piece of paper has become increasingly required over the years and the older I get the more pointedly obvious that has become. I marvel at so many I meet who were in similar situations as me, yet managed to get a degree and move on financially. What happened to me? It seemed all I could manage was getting to work, feeding and clothing my sons and getting to church. The rest of my time was spent in idle thinking, dreaming, scheming and planning, always wondering why, how and when things would improve. "Someday My Prince Will Come" was my motivational theme song as I longed to live in Happily Ever After Land. Robbing Peter to pay Paul is more accurately descriptive and pinching pennies and singing the blues isn't cutting it. There are days I still feel like I'm over my head in the normal functions of life.
Will the clutter in my mind eventually clear enough that I can finally figure out what I want to be when I grow up and do I still have the time to accomplish that?
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