That Sinking Feeling



Sometimes I get the feeling that I will always be "stuck" in the chaos of life. I know that the steps are here to help me get out of that feeling but there are days when it's a battle of the old and the new. The old patterns and thinking are rearing themselves up against the new thinking and attempts at taking care of life properly. Once in a while, I still get that sinking feeling.

I have had interesting jobs and experiences. BUT I don't have a degree. That piece of paper has become increasingly required over the years and the older I get the more pointedly obvious that has become. I marvel at so many I meet who were in similar situations as me, yet managed to get a degree and move on financially. What happened to me? It seemed all I could manage was getting to work, feeding and clothing my sons and getting to church. The rest of my time was spent in idle thinking, dreaming, scheming and planning, always wondering why, how and when things would improve. "Someday My Prince Will Come" was my motivational theme song as I longed to live in Happily Ever After Land. Robbing Peter to pay Paul is more accurately descriptive and pinching pennies and singing the blues isn't cutting it. There are days I still feel like I'm over my head in the normal functions of life.

Will the clutter in my mind eventually clear enough that I can finally figure out what I want to be when I grow up and do I still have the time to accomplish that?

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6 comments:

kristi said...

I am going to school online. It isn't easy but I am doing it!!!

J-Online said...

Follow your dreams. You can accomplish anything you set your mind and heart too. Turn this over to God. He holds the ket to our future and already has it planned out for us. Or at least that's what I believe. Take care of yourself. You are doing amazing! Jen

Cat said...

I am a firm believer that you can do anything you set your mind to do. I believe that because I have done it. I needed to lose weight - lost about 60 lbs over the last year - I wanted to finish my degree - did that over the course of 3 years part time at night. It was not easy - BUT both I am grateful that I have comeplted. I still need to lose about 20 more lbs but I set myself a goal of the next year to accomplish this.

Set a goal and then work toward it. You can do what you set your mind to do, nevermind any obstacles that are in the way.

Dont ever give up on you or your dreams!

Cat

Syd said...

I think that you'll figure out what it is you want. I know that working at a job and doing all the stuff that goes with having a house and animals takes my time. That's why I get away on the weekends. It's my time.

cedrorum said...

I think your mind is already starting to become uncluttered. You will figure out what you want to be in time, I know I did. Although, I still don't want to grow up :)

Just Another Sober Guy said...

WOW, it almost seems as if you were reading my mind... except for the part about "...my Prince Will Come" LOL

I have 20+ years in with my employer, no degree and am barely making it. Still don't know what I wanna be when I grow up. I have some ideas but it is not an easy decision.

I want to go to school to but I want it to be for something I love. The problem seems to be that most things I love don't apply to my current job and the job market for an artsy person is kind of limited.