Our meeting was small in attendance last night. On occasion the mix is totally different than what you might expect and I like when that happens. It seems to bring a whole different spirit to the sharing time at hand. A woman came to my table last night and was a bit weary and weepy and sort of quiet. Eventually she began to open up and, like so many of us Mom's, wept over a current situation that is affecting one of her adult children by an alcoholic father (her ex-husband). Shortly after, she opened up a little more about losing a son a few years ago but didn't elaborate.
Following the meeting we talked a little more intimately about our sons. It seems he was a statistic of the following:
"In the United States in early 2006, a rash of deaths was attributed to either a combination of fentanyl and heroin, or pure fentanyl masquerading as heroin particularly in the Detroit Metro Area; one news report refers to the combination as 'laced heroin', though this is likely a generic rather than a specific term."
It stopped me in my tracks. I knew this was happening around us and yet I hadn't known anyone affected until now. Not only that, but her father, whom she had been caregiving for, died just a few days before and so she buried her father and son within 3 days of each other.
How did she do this? She lived through my biggest fear and seems to be managing life.
In my old way, my answer would have been "you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move on." Now I know the truth, and the truth is that you lean even harder into the arms of your Heavenly Father. Only there can you gather the strength to face what seems insurmountable. These must be the days you walk by faith even when nothing seems right in your world. Each day I realize more and more how the steps must be part of my everyday thinking.
"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."